Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
Chuck Norris walked right into Area 51, bought a Snapple, and walked out. No one dared to move.
No one's afraid to criticize the US President, but no one even dares to say one bad thing about Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
Chuck Norris' first words were... "Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris once made an omelette from a Fabergé egg.
Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.