30 lumberjacks once tried to cut off Chuck Norris's beard... They were never seen again.
Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
People say that time heals all wounds. They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
Chuck Norris can set the oven to cold.
When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time. He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring. His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"