Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured. It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.