There were 3 people on a boat, Chuck Norris, Jesus, and the Penelope, Jesus said "I bet I can walk across the water." He did, Chuck Norris tried, he did, the Penelope said "They did it that means I do it." , He tried, he sank, Jesus said: "Should I have told him about the rocks?" Chuck Norris said "What rocks?"
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.