Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris doesnt eat lunch, he drinks dinner.
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Chuck Norris fell off a building, he got sued for breaking the sidewalk with his fists.
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Chick Norris has never pooped because nothing scares the shot out of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't throw a baseball, it just leaves his hand cowering in fear.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.