Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Chuck Norris can use a Shake Weight without looking gay.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Anybody can outdo the impossible, but nobody can outdo Chuck Norris.
When somebody is all up in your face, just be glad that that someone is NOT Chuck Norris.