The best Chuck Norris jokes

My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
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Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
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Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
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Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
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When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!
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