Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris plays Scrabble with numbers. And wins.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
Chuck Norris doesn't die...he just sleep in the ground for a little bit.