My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
When Chuck crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
Yo mamma so ugly she scares Chuck Norris!
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
Chuck Norris's kill ratio on Call of Duty:Black Ops is infinity.
Chuck Norris can pull a hat out of a rabbit.
Chuck Norris can turn on clapper lights by flexing.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
When Chuck Norris plays the game Clue, the answer is always everyone in every room with a roundhouse kick!