Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.