Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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R. Lee Ermey's war face is the face he made when he saw Chuck Norris ready to attack.
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Chuck Norris hit you tomorrow, is going to hit you yesterday, and you're now dead.
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Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Chuck Norris won the Nascar season, he was driving a bike.
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Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
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