Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
When Chuck Norris wants salmon he eats the bear too.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Chuck Norris found the stairway to heaven, but he prefers the elevator.
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.