Chuck Norris Avenged the Avengers.
The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
When Chuck Norris runs backwards during a fight, it may seem like he's retreating. He's not. He's just attacking from another direction.
Chuck Norris is so tough, that he doesn't get a workout from the weights,they get a workout from him.
Total Recall was based off of an average day in the life of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.