The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
The only difference between nunchucks and the legs of Chuck Norris is that wood eventually breaks.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
Chuck Norris knows your reading this...