A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
Chuck Norris gave Iceman frostbite.
Chuck Norris became famous when he coached the American rugby and America won the fifa world cup.
When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right? Well he's currently making his third attempt.
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
Chuck Norris doesn't have a Facebook, he has a Fistbook... No one's his friend.