If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
UV rays are caused by Chuck Norris' smiles.
Chuck Norris kissed a girl once. She's still blushing, we call her Sun.
Once Chuck Norris swam all the oceans for 7 days and oceans got cold.
Chuck Norris doesn't solve math - math solves Chuck Norris.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Nobody doesn't like Sara Lee. Except Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can check out books from the Library of Congress.
When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.