Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris can ski up a mountain.
Chuck Norris once planted a box of Cheerios in his yard, the result was a donut tree.
Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
Chuck Norris can alphabetize m&m's
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Q: What do a bungee jump cord and a hooker have in common? A: If the rubber breaks you're screwed.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.