The best Chuck Norris jokes

The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris


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