When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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Wonder Woman's magic Lasso is actually one of Chuck Norris' chest hairs.
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A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid his parents took him to a beach in Georgia.
While swimming Chuck Norris pants came down and out popped Florida.
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Chuck Norris once starred in Wheel of Fortune.
The last twenty nine minutes were spent in an awkward silence, waiting for the wheel to stop spinning.
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Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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