Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Underneath China it says "Made in Chuck Norris".
When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Chuck Norris can rotate text in MS Paint.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.