The only reason Osama Bin Laden is dead is because they finally let Chuck Norris into Pakistan...
Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!" When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
Chuck Norris has a Roundhouse Kick button on his Facebook page, and when he deletes a friend they actually die.