Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
If you look back far enough in your family tree, Chuck Norris appears at least three times.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.