If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Chuck Norris can make ice cubes with a microwave.
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
Chuck Norris doesn't use his hand to catch bullets, he uses his mind.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
A study showed the leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.