In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
If it looks like chicken tastes like chicken and smells like chicken and Chuck Norris says it's beef then it's beef.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Chuck Norris is the only person able beat a fish at holding his breath under water.
The sun cannot look directly at Chuck Norris. It must use specialized equipment just to gaze upon his silhouette
There will never be a zombie apocalypse, because when Chuck Norris bites zombies, they turn back into humans.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
In high school, Chuck Norris was voted "Most."
The reason the Holy Grail has never been recovered is because nobody is brave enough to ask Chuck Norris to give up his favourite coffee mug.
Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.