Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Do you know why the Earth's spinning ?
Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
Chuck Norris caught the gingerbread man.
Chuck Norris once pushed a door that said,"pull."