Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
When Chuck Norris is in Rome, they do what he does.
Chuck Norris once bowled a 300... Without a ball... He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row. The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can walk on Jesus.
Chuck Norris has found what U2 are looking for.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.