Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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They say that "You can't cheat Death", but Chuck Norris can beat it fairly.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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