Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
Every time Satain goes to sleep, He has to pray to God hoping Chuck Norris does't get him at night.
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Einstein's theory of relativity is still a theory.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.