Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
Chuck Norris does not fart, nothing escapes Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Newton's 3rd Law never applies to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"