Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Chuck Norris does not skip stones... he skips sheets of drywall.
Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room. Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic on a late afternoon swim.
15 years ago I started a burping contest with Chuck Norris... who had the longest? I don't know he is still busy.
Chuck Norris plays racquetball with a waffle iron and a bowling ball.
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.