The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
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Simon doesn't say... Chuck Norris says.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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Chuck Norris doesn't worry about high gas prices. His vehicles run on fear.
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Chuck Norris hates Raymond.
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Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
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Contrary to popular belief there was a Chuck Norris sighting on the set of The Crow. No Lee is allowed to live when Chuck Norris is around.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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