In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.
The best security system for a bank is when Chuck's money is in it.
Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Chuck Norris built the never ending stairs. Then he climbed it up.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.