Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created. 
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Every bone inside Chuck Norris is his funny bone, cause he laughs wherever you hit him.
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Chuck gives the sun the chills.
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Ghosts are created when Chuck Norris kills people to fast for the grim reaper to prosses.
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Chuck Norris is not 70 years old.
At age 60, he began getting younger.
This is why he is actually only 50.
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Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
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The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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