Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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The Terminator said, "I'll be back" because he saw Chuck Norris was coming.
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When Chuck lit a match earth saw the sun for the first time!
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When Chuck Norris goes to the DMV, they take a number.
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Chuck Norris knows the secret of the Caramilk
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
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When a Jedi dies they become part of the force, when the force dies it becomes part of Chuck Norris.
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