The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris went for a swim in the ocean. The sharks headed for land.
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They said that a picture is worth a 1000 words, a picture of Chuck Norris is worth a 1000 ways to die.
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once bench pressed an 18 wheeler. With him inside it.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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