The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
Chuck Norris can power solar panels. At Night.
When Chuck Norris went to the beach, he gave the ocean a bath.
Every 5 seconds, somewhere in the world, someone dies of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can smell sound and hear touch.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
Chuck Norris can solve the Towers of Hanoi in one move.