The best Chuck Norris jokes

It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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Chuck Norris tells his GPS when he wants to turn.
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You know "The Matrix" that was Chuck Norris' very first dream.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph. Why? Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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The earth doesn't revolve around the sun. It's the sun that revolves around Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends.
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"With great power comes a great beard!" - Chuck Norris.
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