The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
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Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris can get a Black-Jack with one card.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
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Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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