Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
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Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
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