Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can. It's not much of a fight....
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
Chuck Norris has won tennis match against a wall.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.