The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't have a will. Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
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Once an email was sent from LA to Washington. Chuck Stopped it at St. Louis.
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Chuck Norris can shut the door open.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a seatbelt and reclines his seat before takeoff and landing on an airplane because he can.
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Evolution's driving mechanism is nature's desperate attempt to escape Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris burns calories, he uses a flamethrower.
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Chuck Norris made the universe... out of his snot and left kidney.
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