Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
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Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
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One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
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Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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