Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
Chuck Norris recently got himself an iPad. It turned into iDust when he tried to use it.
Chuck Norris walked his version of a 40-yard dash in 5.6 seconds; he was later told it was the Boston Marathon.
Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.