Chuck Norris does not need a remote for his tv for all he needs to do is just stare until it turns on.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris once bowled a 300...
Without a ball...
He wasn't even in a bowling ally.
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Q: Why aren't the aliens making contact?
A: They are afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Ed and Lorraine Warren have the doll Anabelle locked in a glass case in their basement, a priest comes there every week to whisper Chuck Norris's name in its ear.
The doll locked itself in the case upon first hearing the name.
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Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
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Chuck Norris once won a three-legged race... By himself.
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Once Chuck Norris went back in time and kicked a ball.
When it landed it wiped out the dinosaurs.
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