Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
Everytime a star explodes, it's because one of Chuck Norris's victims just landed there after being round-house kicked.
One does not simply survive Chuck Norris.
Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once raced light. He is still waiting for it to catch up.