Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.