Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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If Chuck Norris replaced Roy Scheider, the movie would have been known as Broken Jaws, and would have only lasted 12 minutes.
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Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris once sued a Law and Order Company because those are the trademark item names of his right and left legs.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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