Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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When Chuck Norris enters a sauna the sauna starts sweating.
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Chuck Norris doesn't flirt all he says is NOW.
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Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom.
Because he never f*cks up.
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Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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