The best Chuck Norris jokes

Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
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The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
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When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
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