Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Chuck Norris, each testicle is larger than the other one
Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself. We call it The Big Bang.
Once the A-Team used to take care of the bad guys. Then came Chuck Norris. Ever since, the A-Team has been known as the Ghostbusters.
Chuck Norris once lapped his opponent...in a drag race.
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.