Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter'.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
PlayStation network was never hacked. Chuck Norris just decided to play one day.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"