The best Chuck Norris jokes

Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.
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Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Chuck Norris won a soccer game. He was the referee.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
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Superman is weakened when exposed to Kryptonite. Chuck Norris eats Kryptonite for breakfast without even a belch.
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