Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
Chuck Norris doesn't push someone out of the way of a car, he pushes the car out of the way of the person.
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.