Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards? A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.