Whenever Chuck Norris rolls a 6 sided dice, he always rolls a 7.
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"Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Maryland State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years."
Little lad is sitting between his Mum and Dad on the sofa and they are playing a game about what sounds animals say.
His Mum says "What does a duck say Tommy?"
He says"Quack quack Mummy."
His Mum says "Very good Tommy,that's right."
She says "What does a dog say?"
He says "Woof woof Mummy."
She says "Very good."
She says "What does a cat say?"
He says "Meow meow Mummy."
She says "Yes that's right."
Tommy says "Let Daddy have a go."
His dad says "Ok Tommy,what does a cow say?"
The little lad looks confused and his Dad says "Come on Tommy you know what a cow says."
Tommy says "Yes I do but do you mean a cow that eats grass and gives us our milk, or the one you where talking to Uncle John about, that said you could'nt go to the Stag show with him?"
Chuck Norris can play Pokemon Go on his landline.
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon.
For a long time, they could not decide upon any game.
Suddenly, Jenny had an idea.
She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools".
"OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."
When Chuck Norris plays hide and seek, even google can't find him.
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A man went to doctor, "Doctor every night in my dream I am playing soccer."
Doctor say, "Take these pills, they will help you sleep better."
The man, "I can't take them, tonight is the final game."
It has been said that if you name any custom class in Call of Duty "Chuck Norris" you will instantly win every match you set foot in.
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