Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards? A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 7-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?" The little boy nodded in the affirmative. "Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?" The little boy nodded yes. "So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a foul is called, you shouldn't argue, curse, or attack the referee. Do you understand all that?" Again the little boy nodded. He continued, "And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach 'a worthless idiot' is it?'' Again the little boy nodded. "Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your parents."
I was taking a golf lesson at the range one day trying to improve my game. This old pro was sitting there giving the lesson and after every swing, he said: "your standing too close the ball". So I adjusted my stance and took another swing. Again the golf pro looked up from his seat and said the Same thing "you are too close to the ball." So I stepped back a little more and swung. This went on for another six swings with the same advice and finally, out of exasperation I screamed what the hell are you talking about! The old pro said, "no no, you are too close to the ball after you hit it".
Yo mamma so fat she doesn't play temple run she plays temple roll.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris can finish Mario Bros without using the jump button.
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game? A: Hide and Speak!
Q: Did you hear about the leper poker game? A: One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
Chuck Norris could play cd-based games on his Nintendo 64.