Q: Why did the gay man take two aspirin with his Viagra? A: So sex wouldn't be such a pain in the arse.
An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay went to a doctor. The doctor told them that if they do again what they think are addicted to, they will die. As soon as the alcoholic went out of the hospital, he saw a bar. He thought for a while and said to himself, "If I drink one, I will die, if I don’t drink, I will die, too. So it’s better to get drunk." And he entered the bar, drank and died. At that time, the smoker saw one cigarette-end on the street. The gay walking behind him started crying, "Don’t! Don’t do it!" "Why? I want to smoke so much." "If you bend... we both are dead!"
How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? Only came in male boxes.
Q: Why are gays so happy? A: Becuase the luck does not have the courage turning back to them.
Q: Which is better, being born black or gay? A: Black, because you don't have to tell your parents.
Q: What does a gay order in a Chinese restaurant? A: Sum Yung Gi.
In a small cathedral a janitor was cleaning the pews between services when he was approached by the minister. The minister asked the janitor, "Could you go into the confessional and listen to confessions for me? I really have to go to the bathroom and the Widow McGee is coming. She tends to go on but never really does anything worthy of serious repentance, so when she's done just give her 10 Hail Mary's and I'll be right back." Being the helpful sort, the janitor agreed. Just as expected the Widow McGee came into the booth and started her confession. "Oh Father, I fear I have done the unforgivable. I have given into carnal thoughts and have had oral sex." Stunned, the janitor had no idea how to handle this situation. Surely 10 Hail Mary's would not do. So, in a moment of desperation the janitor peered his head out of the confessional and asked an altar boy, "Son, what does the minister give for oral sex?" In reply the altar boy said, "Two Snickers bars and a Coke."
Did you hear about the gay guy that's on the patch? He's down to four butts a day.
Q: What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? A: The fridge doesn't fart when you take out the meat.