The best IT jokes

A big party is being held to honor relational database systems and their impact on modern society. Outside the venue, the host awaits the guests. The first limousine arrives and out steps Oracle followed by 4 people. Host: Who have you brought along? Oracle: I have 4 DBA's in tow. One to install me, one to design the databases, one to administer me, and the other to justify the cost. A second limo arrives and out steps DB2 followed by 40 people. Host: Who have you bought along? DB2: I have 2 DBA's, 2 hardware specialists, and 36 consultants. A third limo arrives and out steps SQL Server all on his own. Host: Why haven't you brought anyone? SQL Server: I didn't bring anyone because I am easy to install and am basically self managing. But I did bring the #sqlhelp Twitter hashtag for when the excrement hits the fan. 20 minutes later, up rushes MySQL, unshaved, hair a mess. Host: Where have you been MySQL? MySQL: Sorry, I thought it was February 31st.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT, party, technology
The computer programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball." Son: "Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?"
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has 49.79 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer, sport
What did the computer do at lunchtime? Had a byte!
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has 49.74 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: IT
A computer programmer has been missing from work for over a week. Finally someone notices and calls the police. They break down the door of his flat where they find him dead in the shower, an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body. The programmer seems to have died from a combination of exposure and exhaustion. The puzzle is explained when the police read the instructions on the shampoo bottle – ‘Wet hair. Apply shampoo. Rinse. Repeat.’
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: IT
Daddy, how was I born? Ah, very well, one day you need to find out anyway! Mom and Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber cafe. We snuck into a secluded room, and then your mother downloaded from your dad's memory stick. As soon as dad was ready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later the blessed virus appeared. And that's the story.
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has 49.36 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: computer, dad, geek, IT, technology
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q:Why did the computer lose its trust relationship with the domain? A:Because it was corrupted in active directory and needed to be removed and re-added again!
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, relationship
Chuck Norris can open PDF files with Microsoft Excel.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT, technology
Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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has 48.41 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, geek, IT, technology
Chuck Norris can make a Java Program in visual studio 2010.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, computer, IT, programmer
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