The best IT jokes

Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
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God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’ Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’ Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’ Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
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Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered? Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
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Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.
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What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.
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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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Two bloggers chatting: Mom: Son, it’s snowing so nice. Son: Where, Give me the link please.
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The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the AT&T virus. Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we're not exactly sure what it does. Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer's involvement in other computer's affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years. Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer. Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.
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A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
Vote: has 42.25 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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