The best IT jokes

What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Bill Gates died in a car accident. He found himself in Purgatory being sized up by God… “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call. I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in the world and yet you created that ghastly Windows 95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. In your case, I’m going to let you decide where you want to go!” Bill replied, “Well, thanks, God. What’s the difference between the two?” God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly if it will help you make a decision.” “Fine, but where should I go first?” God said, “I’m going to leave that up to you.” Bill said, “OK, then, let’s try Hell first.” So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters. There were thousands of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and the temperature was perfect. Bill was very pleased. “This is great!” he told God, “If this is Hell, I REALLY want to see Heaven!” “Fine,” said God and off they went. Heaven was a high place in the clouds, with angels drifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute and rendered his decision. “Hmm, I think I prefer Hell” he told God. “Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.” So Bill Gates went to Hell. Two weeks later, God decided to check up on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When God arrived in Hell, he found Bill shackled to a wall, screaming amongst the hot flames in a dark cave. He was being burned and tortured by demons. “How’s everything going, Bill?” God asked. Bill responded – his voice full of anguish and disappointment, “This is awful, this is not what I expected. I can’t believe this happened. What happened to that other place with the beaches and the beautiful women playing in the water?” God says, “That was the screen saver”.
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: car, celebrity, death, god, IT
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: IT
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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has 45.78 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, geek, IT, technology
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
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has 45.53 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, music, phone, technology
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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has 44.50 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT
What do Scientists have for snacks? Micro-chips.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: IT, science
Q: What is height of Craziness? A: Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: IT
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