The best IT jokes

What would a computer geek is going to do after seeing a beautiful woman? "Immediately start downloading it."
Vote:
has 37.97 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: beauty, geek, IT, women
James Bond got this email from a friend: CanYouPleaseFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?
Vote:
has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, IT
An internet maniac boy asks his father: Daddy, why do we have five fingers if the mouse has only two buttons?
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: computer, dad, IT
How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: IT
God called a meeting of George Bush, Tony Blair and Bill Gates. ‘I’ve given you all the tools you needed to make a better world,’ says God. ‘But you’ve failed and I’m ending the world in two weeks.’ Bush goes on TV and says, ‘I have good news and bad news. The good news is that God exists. The bad news is that the world will end in two weeks.’ Tony Blair says, ‘I have bad news and really bad news. The bad news is that God is really annoyed. The really bad news is he’s going to destroy us.’ Bill Gates calls his workers together and says, ‘I have good news and great news. The good news is that God thinks I’m one of the three most powerful people in the world. The great news is that we don’t have to fix the bugs in the new Windows package.’
Vote:
has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT
A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
Vote:
has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT
Q: How do you fix a broken website? A: With stick e-tape.
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: internet, IT, technology
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road. The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree. They all get out and discuss how to fix the car. The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’ The engineer says, ‘That would take too long. I have my penknife here. I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’ The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
Vote:
has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: IT
CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
Vote:
has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: business, car, IT, management, work
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire. The three men try to solve the problem. The project manager said: "Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination." The computer programmer said: "We have here the driver's guide. I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive." The computer operator said: "First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again. Maybe it will fix the problem." Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said: "Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again."
Vote:
has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: IT
<<<28293031
More jokes →
Page 28 of 35.