A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.
Linux is like a wigwam: no windows, no gates, apache inside...
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
Why didn’t the internet get any e-mail? Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.
What goes ‘choo choo choo’ while online? Thomas the search engine.
This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
I’ve invented a human computer. When he does a mistake he blames another computer.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
What do you get if you cross a computer with a herb? A thyme machine.
Chaos reigns within. Reflect, repent, and restart. Order shall return.