Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.
Chuck Norris doesn't teach his kicks. They speak for themselves.
Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
If Chuck Norris ever opened a restaurant, the only thing on the menu would be knuckle sandwiches and eye of roundhouse steaks.
Chuck Norris once rode a bull threw a China shop, the only thing that broke was the bull.
Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Chuck Norris eats rainbows to taste the Skittles.
Chuck Norris can stab a knife with a man.