Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Barbwire wants a tatoo of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris' sweat is used to disinfect operating rooms.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand?
A: Thunder.
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