Joke #8691

Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower. He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Lays chips claims "No one can eat just one". Wrong. Chuck Norris ate ONE, laughed then ate a whole bag of Doritos.
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When God said "Let there be light!", Chuck Norris said "Only for half the day."
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Justin Bieber has Chuck Norris fever!
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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AIDS Can't Kill Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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