The hardest known subsatance in the universe is Chuck Norris's will.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a coffee maker, he puts the coffee beans in his mouth and boils them with his rage.
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Chuck Norris met an exclamation point and punched it in the face.
We now have questions.
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For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early.
No one surprises Chuck Norris.
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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Chuck Norris was born feet first.
It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
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Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.
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World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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