Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys.
The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore.
The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
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World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order.
Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
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Stevie Wonder was the last person to stare Chuck Norris directly in the eyes...
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Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number, you pick up the wrong phone
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Bigfoot thinks Chuck Norris is a myth
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Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory.
He refreshes webpages by blinking.
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