Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
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There's an order to the universe: space, time, Chuck Norris...
Just kidding, Chuck Norris is first.
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Chuck Norris once raced light.
He is still waiting for it to catch up.
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Chuck Norris can finish Sims.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris.
He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
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Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game...
While using a golf ball.
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Everyone knows the speed of light...
Chuck Norris knows the speed of darkness.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
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