Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.
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Chuck Norris can hack a Facebook account using Myspace.
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Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked the turbines of Hoover Dam.
Since then, the Colorado River is a tourist attraction.
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Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Chuck Norris leaves potholes when he jogs.
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Chuck Norris can check his pulse by same hand.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Chuck Norris once slapped a headless man.
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Chuck Norris can skydive indoors.
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Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it.
Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.
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