Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
They say, "You can't fight city hall", but Chuck Norris can. It's not much of a fight....
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Chuck Norris is another name for Terror.
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. there were no survivors and the pilot episode tape has been burned.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
When Chuck Norris says "Jump", you don't say, "How high?" - you say, "When do I come down?"
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
Chuck Norris once stuck a fork in a toaster and the toaster got electrocuted.