Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Chuck Norris found Nemo with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris can surf on lava.
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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The world ends on December 21st, 2012.
Only because that's when Chuck Norris masters the Falco Punch.
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Sliced bread is the best thing since Chuck Norris.
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The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
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It is convenient to be near a hospital when you are injured.
It is also convenient to insult Chuck Norris while standing in an open grave.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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