Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
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If Chuck Norris hosted TV series "Survivor" No one would Survive!
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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Chuck Norris can fire Vince McMahon.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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On Halloween, children give Chuck Norris candy.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive.
The zombies do.
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