Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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If Chuck Norris were a toy, you wouldn't play with him, he'll play with you.
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Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
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Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool.
That's why his mullet never moves.
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“The Day the Earth Stood Still” is based off the one day in Earth’s history when Chuck Norris slept.
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When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.
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Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice from a banana.
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Chuck Norris' pager is still cool.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv.
The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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