Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris holds the world record for most push ups done in a hour, the number is all of them.
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When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris was the original star of "24."
It was called "1."
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to really have "Birthdays".
The rest of us have "Thank you Chuck for allowing me to live another year- days".
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