Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth.
Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
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Notice, there are no Chuck Norris video games. They would be way too easy.
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Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
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Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
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Chuck Norris is ambidextrous.
He can do Roundhouse kicks with his left and right leg.
All at the same time.
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They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D.
There where no survivors.
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