Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris looks at IEDs and the trigger man blows up.
Chuck Norris can listen to 24 hours worth of music and not move a single muscle.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
When Chuck Norris breaks the speed limit, no one can put it back together again.
Chuck Norris has nicknames for his feet... Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
If Chuck Norris appears in your dream, don't panic, he is only looking for Freddy Krueger.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Just announced that they are changing all the days of the week to Chuckdays. Happy Chuckday everyone!