Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
Chuck Norris can see at least 3 extra colors.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Cars were invented to have a faster way of fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
The war with Japan would have ended sooner, but the allies decided that dropping Chuck Norris on Hiroshima would be a crime against humanity.
Chuck Norris can milk birds.
Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.