Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris was a comedian, but everyone started to die of laughter.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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A black hole is where Chuck Norris ripped the universe a new one.
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Chuck Norris CAN get blood from a stone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
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Chuck Norris has 5 bathtubs, they are known as the Great Lakes.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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