Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet.
Why?
Dirt knows better.
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Chuck Norris can cut a saw with a wood board.
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The names 'Adam and Eve' were simply coverups.
They were really Chuck and Norris.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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That recent tsunami was caused when Chuck Norris dropped a pebble into the ocean.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till."
After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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The First Law of Thermodynamics states:
Matter cannot be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
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