Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check the time - he decides it.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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In an official mandate, 'Walker, Texas Ranger' DVD discs have been ordered to replace the armor plating in all bulletproof vests.
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Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe.
Chuck said, "I don't like the juice."
Hitler heard him wrong.
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Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
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When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a will.
Invincible people don't need them.
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Chuck Norris can pop every kernel in the bag without burning one.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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