Chuck Norris can punch your thoughts and give you a headache.
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Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter.
He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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In the game "Clue", the murder is always committed by Chuck Norris, with a roundhouse kick, in any room he danged well pleases.
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Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use a fire extinguisher to put out fires... he just tells the fire to stop burning.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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