Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg? A: Egg-zosted!
Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in."
Q: How long does the Easter Bunny like to party? A: Around the cluck!
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? A: Because he's an egghead.
Q: Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it?? A: No one the first four doesn't exist and the other blonde thought it was a gum wrapper!
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs? A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!" My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor." Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?" He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
Did you hear about the Easter egg hunt for the Alzheimer's patients? They hid their own eggs!
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck. There can only be 1 living legend.
Q: What day does an Easter egg hate the most? A: Fry-days.