Q: What do you call a sleepy Easter egg?
A: Egg-zosted!
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Q: How does Jesus celebrate Easter?
A: He gets a manicure, pedicure, and has his nails polished.
Q: Why do we paint Easter eggs?
A: Because it's easier than trying to wallpaper them!
Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy were all real at one time... then they met Chuck.
There can only be 1 living legend.
Vote:
Jesus won't come back again.
Why?
Because he know you will kill him and see if he will wake up again.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
"Why are you studying your Easter candy?"
"I'm trying to decide which came first-the chocolate chicken or the chocolate egg!"
Why couldn't the rabbit fly home for Easter?
He didn't have the hare fare.
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill?
A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Q: Why do only 20 percent of blonde chicks lay Easter eggs?
A: The rest are hunt'n peckers.
A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Pastor said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
My friend replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Pastor."
Pastor questioned, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."