"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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In America, Chuck Norris finds you But in Soviet Russia, you find Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
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hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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The wind of Chuck Norris's round house kick can be felt from 1600 million miles away.
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Chuck Norris once saw a video that takes 24 hours to watch...
He saw it 3 times a day.
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