"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
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One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to change the past.
He has never made any mistakes.
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Before they met Chuck Norris, the Black Eyed Peas were simply known as "The Peas."
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Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
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Chuck Norris can never fill out an online form, because Chuck Norris will never submit.
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Chuck Norris invented black.
In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light.
Except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
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In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
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Some people can ride their bikes with no handle bars.
But chuck norris can ride his handlebars with no bike.
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