Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
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Chuck Norris can blow a tornado away.
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There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman.
And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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In fourth grade, a teacher edited Chuck Norris's essay.
Big mistake.
You don't edit Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris edits you... with his fist.
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The movie Unstoppable is based on Chuck Norris' morning jog.
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
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When Jeronimo jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "CHUUUUCCCKKK NNNNOOOORRRIIIISSSSSS!"
When Chuck Norris jumps out of an airplane, he yells: "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
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When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
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