Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Chucks Norris's mirror is scared to look at him.
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole bucket of sleepng pills and it managed to make him yawn.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.
When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
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Chuck Norris can open Microsoft Windows when he needs fresh air.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Chuck Norris didn't have a mum or dad, he created himself.
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James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator.
However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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