Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris does not sleep.
He waits.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At night.
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Chuck Norris could stab you with a worm.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t swim, we beats the water into submission.
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Chuck Norris can headbutt himself in the face.
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Chuck Norris is what makes the Central Nervous System nervous
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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