Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
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The first paper money press was invented when Chuck Norris drew a design under his boot and stepped on a tree.
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Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Chuck Norris once won the title of Iron Chef by cooking instant ramen noodles.
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