Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
Chuck norris can control chaos.
Chuck Norris doesn't moon walk, the moon Chuck-Norris Walks.
Chuck Norris only mast*rbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walked into the gold and silver pawn shop in Las Vegas. They made a deal. Chuck now owns the shop.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
When Chuck Norris hired his bodyguards, he figured he was paying to save someone.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.