Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
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When you're Chuck Norris, anything + anything is equal to 1. One roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Chuck norris recently received a restraining order barring him from getting closer then half a mile from Satan.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it changes the actual world economy.
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If Chuck Norris is defusing a bomb and has a choice of red wire, yellow wire and green wire, he chooses blue.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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