Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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Chuck Norris can't be racist, because to him there are no people, just light and dark targets.
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Chuck Norris didn't cross the road... he was already on the other side...
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Water needs safety arm bands when swimming with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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Chuck Norris is the most feared predator on the planet.
That's why sharks have a Chuck Norris week.
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Shooting stars make a wish when they see Chuck Norris.
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Q: You know the Roman Empire, well how do you think it fell?
A: Chuck Norris
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Only once in history has Chuck Norris snapped his fingers, scientists call it The Big Bang.
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