Chuck Norris can hear your text messages.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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There was a competition of arm wrestling between Chuck Norris and Superman.
And guess what, the loser had to wear his undies over his pants!
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Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
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Chuck Norris doesn't make typos.
Words simply stutter in his presence.
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The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
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What happens when Chuck Norris orders a beer and gets a beer?
He roundhouses the waitress, Chuck Norris should not have to ask.
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Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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No sense in playing Clue with Chuck Norris, we know it was Chuck Norris with a roundhouse kick in any room.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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