When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people.
He walks through them
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Chuck Norris doesn't climb trees.
He just pulls them down and walks on top of them.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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