When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
Arnold Schwarzenegger cannot tell Chuck Norris to "get down!"
Chuck refers to himself in the fourth person.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris told Anne Robinson she was the weakest link and made her leave the stage.
Chuck Norris logged on MSN through the display of washing machines.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris once took a CPR class, this way he can kill you, revive you, and kill you again.