When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but even Jack couldn't avoid Chuck Norris' round house kick.
According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
Chuck Norris cancelled his own funeral.
The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris never actually moves. He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face. Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men. The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons. Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face. There is only one King.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.