If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.