If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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Chuck Norris knows what's eating Gilbert Grape.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
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The wrecking ball in the Miley Cyrus video isn't a wrecking ball it's one of Chuck Norris testicles.
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Every Chuck Norris joke is a five star joke just because it says Chuck Norris.
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There is a way to kill Chuck Norris, it is...
Sorry, the person typing this just had his head bashed in by a roundhouse kick.
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch...
Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
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