If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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Micheal Jordan to Chuck Norris:
I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours.
Can you?
Chuck Norris: (laughs) How do you think the earth spins?
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to do anything for a Klondike bar.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3."
All was good.
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Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
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