If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Water holds its breath when Chuck Norris is in below the surface.
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Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
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Chuck Norris can stop the music.
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Chuck Norris shaves with predator mandibles and uses alien blood for shaving cream.
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Chuck Norris wears white to a funeral, no one asks why.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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Chuck Norris once ate four 30lb bowling balls without chewing.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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A watched pot boils instantly for Chuck Norris.
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