Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
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Once Chuck Norris signed a cheque and the bank bounced.
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Q: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an unmovable object?
A: Chuck Norris is clapping.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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I named my dog Chuck Norris, but I couldn't train him because no one tells Chuck Norris what to do.
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Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life.
When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.
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Jedis are now taught to use the "Chuck".
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Contrary to popular belief, there is indeed enough Chuck Norris to go around.
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Chuck Norris can close Pandora's Box.
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Some check under their beds for "Penny Wise the Clown" before to sleep.
Penny Wise the Clown checks for Chuck Norris under his bed before going to sleep.
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