Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
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Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
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Chuck Norris can drive a car without gas... or an engine.
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Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris.
The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.
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Chuck Norris can infect a mac with pc viruses.
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Chuck norris can fix a plumbers crack.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man the Hiemlich Manuever.
That man still holds the record for most bones broken.
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Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard.
They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
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Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.
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