Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
The real reason Hitler killed himself is because he found out that Chuck Norris is Jewish.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
Chuck Norris can skydive into outer space.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
The true reason why the Nazi's lost the war was because they stopped trying after they found out Chuck Norris had a summer home in Russia.
Chuck Norris has only one friend on Facebook: Pain.
For every victim of a Chuck Norris round house kick, there is a star. As you can see, there are a lot.