Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Some people wear Superman Underwear, Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.
On the other hand, Chuck Norris wears no underwear.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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The real reason that Oprah is ending her show on television is that Chuck phoned and said "That's enough!"
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Chuck Norris CAN handle the truth.
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In a fight with the drill sergeant from "Full Metal Jacket," I'm afraid Chuck would gracefully decline to fight.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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Chuck Norris caught all the pokemon with a Nokia 3310.
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Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.
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Aliens fear that Chuck Norris might abduct them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear flowers in his hair when he goes to San Francisco, he wears poison ivy.
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