Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
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Chuck Norris inflated a flat school bus tire, with his lungs.
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Chuck Norris is allowed to draw pictures of Mohammad.
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The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
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In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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Chuck Norris has counted to infinity.
Twice.
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Chuck Norris can kiss his own elbow, both at the same time.
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Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
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Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
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