Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.
Chuck Norris can spell the longest word in the English language with only three letters.
There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
If Chuck Norris says his opinion on somthing, it automaticlly becomes a fact.
Chuck Norris can buy priceless moments. At a discount price.
Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun.
The square root of Chuck Norris is pain. Do not try to square Chuck Norris, the result is death.
Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
Chuck Norris Doesn't breakdance. He breaks dance
Chuck Norris gave birth to himself because nobody else is capable (or could even live) to give birth to Chuck Norris.