Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris.
The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
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Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood.
But not the wheels.
That's just wrong.
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Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Santa Clause doesn't watch you sleep but Chuck Norris does.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
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Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Two halves make a whole.
Two wholes make Chuck Norris.
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