Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
Nobody would survive anyway.
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Chuck Norris was once in a catch 22, but he roundhouse kicked it down to to a 12 pack and literally drank his problems away.
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While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
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When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
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After being shot by a criminal, Chuck Norris said... "that tickles".
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Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem.
He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion.
The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard on his face.
Chuck Norris' beard has a face.
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There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
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