Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
There was no world recession, just Chuck Norris desiring a discount.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Space Invaders without shooting.
Chuck Norris turns his game off while saving.
The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
Chuck Norris had a knife thrown at him... the knife didn't impale him, he impaled the knife.
The Grinch steals Christmas from Santa, Chuck Norris steals Christmas from the Grinch.