Chuck Norris wears boots to protect the Earth from his feet.
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Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
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When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack.
Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
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huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
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Chuck Norris does not wear a condom.
Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
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They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
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Crop Circles are Chuck Norris's preschool art projects.
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Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
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