On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can't finish a "color by numbers" because his markers are filled with the blood of his victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
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Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
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Chuck Norris' indian name is "He who can kick your ass anytime anywhere"
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When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
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Chuck Norris was worshipped as a god by the Eskimos.
That is why they had igloos modeled after his signature move.
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