Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
When Chuck Norris has your back you aren't likely to get it back again.
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
Wheaties is the breakfast of champions, not for Chuck Norris. He eats Chucky Charms, which contains diamonds, sulfuric acid, and radioactive uranium.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
T. S. Eliot measured out his life with coffee spoons. Chuck Norris uses a backhoe.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.