Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
People created the automobile to escape from Chuck Norris... Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris created the automobile accident.
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
When Chuck Norris was a kid, he entered a pool bombing competition. This place now widely known as the Niagara Falls.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
Chuck Norris doesn't make typos. Words simply stutter in his presence.
Chuck Norris has hair of steel wool. That's why his mullet never moves.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.