The best lawyer jokes

It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex? To prevent clients from being billed twice for the same service.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined!" "It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer. "Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?" "No! The judge is a stickler on ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court." Within the course of time, the judge rendered a decision in favor of the defendant. As the defendant left the courthouse, he said to his lawyer, "Thanks for the tip about the cigars. It really worked!" Confidently the lawyer responded, "I'm sure we would have lost the case if you'd sent them." "But I did send them.", replied the man. "What?" shouted the lawyer. "I sure did, that's how we won the case... good thing I remembered to enclose the plaintiff's business card."
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain,” came the reply, “except the lawyers are still going around passing out business cards.”
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: airplane, business, lawyer
If a lawyer and a tax official were both drowning and you could only save one of them, what would you do; go to lunch or read the paper?
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Ninety-nine percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? A: It's called Sosumi.
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with pictures of favorite lawyers on them. The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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