The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
A: No fee–If No Recovery!
Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention.
They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Odour in court.
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer?
The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Q: Now why is it, officer, IF YOU TRUST YOUR FELLOW OFFICERS WITH YOUR LIFE, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room...
An incompetent attorney can delay a trial for months or years.
A competent attorney can delay one even longer.