If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee–If No Recovery!
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to his feet and screams, ‘I’m melting! I’m melting…!’
Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention. They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.