The US government is throwing away millions of unused stamps with
pictures of favorite lawyers on them.
The people that use them don’t know which side to spit on!
If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?
Your Honour.
Q: What’s the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress?
A: No fee–If No Recovery!
Terrorists have hijacked a planeload of lawyers bound for a legal convention.
They’ve threatened to start releasing the lawyers one by one until their demands are met.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathisers.
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, how many orchards does it take for a lawyer?
Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes?
In a pellet court!
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.