The best lawyer jokes

If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?’ Client: ‘After hearing you in court, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.’
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A junior partner in a law firm is sent to represent a client accused of murder. After a long trial, the case is won and the client acquitted. The young lawyer telegraphs his firm with the message, ‘Justice prevailed’. The senior partner telegraphs back, ‘Appeal immediately’.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop? A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: duck, lawyer
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What do you get when you cross a Godfather with a lawyer? A: An offer you can't understand.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: communication, death, lawyer
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" "I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line." "Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?"
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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