The best lawyer jokes

Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
What’s the difference between a hooker and a lawyer? The hooker will stop screwing you when you’re dead.
Vote: has 46.10 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Why are lawyers buried 12 feet deep when they die instead of the normal six feet? Because deep down they are really good people.
Vote: has 45.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, lawyer
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, heaven, lawyer, work
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A loan shark asks a lawyers advice: How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt? Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you. Ok but I only loaned him $1,000! That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers? A: To practice.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer


<<<24252627
More jokes →
Page 24 of 34.