The best lawyer jokes

A junior partner in a law firm is sent to represent a client accused of murder. After a long trial, the case is won and the client acquitted. The young lawyer telegraphs his firm with the message, ‘Justice prevailed’. The senior partner telegraphs back, ‘Appeal immediately’.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Q: What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: duck, lawyer
A desperate man enters a bar and says: All the lawyers are stupid!!! From a table a solid man rises up and goes to the desperate man: Take that back! Why? Are you a lawyer? No, I’m stupid...
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer
Having lawyers make laws is like having doctors make diseases.
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has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?" "Of course not, dear," replied the mother, "Why would you think that?" "The tombstone back there said... 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A loan shark asks a lawyers advice: How can I get back my $1,000 from Johnny if I lost my loan receipt? Send a letter where you will write to him to send you the $2,000 he owns you. Ok but I only loaned him $1,000! That’s the idea, we want to get from hem a proof that he owns you $1,000...
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer." The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange"!
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus? Never enough.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Lawyer: ‘Let me give you my honest opinion.’ Client: ‘No, no. I’m paying for professional advice.’
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
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